[EVENT] IE Print & Zine Fest

The zine machine goes to Fontana on March 15

IE Print & Zine Fest 2025

IE Print & Zine Fest

My egglettes,

Just two weeks after hoisting our tent at LA Zine Fest, The Daily Egg is rustling fresh paper for IE Print & Zine Fest! This brand new event will have dozens of artists slinging all kinds of zines, so tell your friends, tell your coworkers, tell your mothers* to show up!

EVENT: IE Print & Zine Fest
📆 Saturday, March 15
📍 Kazaa Studio
🏢 8530 Sierra Ave., Fontana CA 92335
⏰ 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.
🎟 Free Admission

“Front Page” paper game at LAZF ‘25

Peel off the FRONT PAGE

Thank you to everyone who played our latest paper game! Front Page debuted at LA Zine Fest two weeks ago, and we’re so grateful for the positive response. They said it wasn’t possible for us to design a big piece of paper that gave you a smaller piece of paper, but we sure proved them wrong.

Switching gears for a moment, I’d like to express my sympathies to the families of our fallen Paper Scientists. For those who don’t know, between 3 and 6 of our top engineers died while developing the Front Page.

Thankfully, one of those was a murder completely unrelated to the project, but the others did happen on company time. Authorities suggested that we didn’t prepare for the paper cuts and ink fumes our staff endured, but I like to think that our engineers died doing what they loved: sticking baby zines onto a mama zine.

Obviously**, my thoughts don’t represent The Daily Egg accepting responsibility for these horrible deaths. In fact, many of the deceased signed a contract that specifically forbade them from dying while working for us, so we will be seeking recompense from their families. Victimhood, need I remind you, is a spectrum.

To summarize: yes, they died working for us. No, their families can’t sue. No, The Daily Egg will not be changing its workplace safety standards. Yes, you can play Front Page at IE Print & Zine Fest. Yes, we are hiring.

Apply today!

Your friend,

Ed

*If we get enough moms, IE Print & Zine Fest can double as a Mom Social Club. Moms need friends too!

**Obviously

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MILLIONAIRE VOWS TO PAY TAXES ONCE HE’S A BILLIONAIRE

(MANHATTAN BEACH, CA) After inheriting $3 million from his deceased father, former socialite Edward Elez has promised to give back to his community: when the time is right.

“Look, I’m a nice guy. You’re not allowed to be rich unless God likes you,” Elez explained. We caught him buying Double Stuf Oreos and screw cap wine at a gas station. “But taxes should be illegal for anyone making under $100 million.”

Elez, whose great-grandfather invented the famous military footwear, was cut from the family fortune after getting a “Nazi-adjacent” tattoo on his inner thigh. At the time, Elez defended his ink, saying “I don’t fuck enough for anyone to see it.” This has proven to be true, as photos of the “lady swastika” have yet to publicly surface.

Despite a brief stint in Caitlyn Jenner’s gubernatorial bid, the would-be heir has not impressed the American media landscape. In fact, Egg reporters only learned of Elez’s inheritance due to a mass email he sent with the subject line “Baby Got Back.” The message, which was sent to publications and individuals of varying credibility (including that of human trafficker Andrew Tate), detailed Elez’s life away from the family business. “I could barely afford my first set of veneers,” he wrote. “Now look where I am.”

After accounting for taxes and Elez’s previous debt, experts put his net worth at approximately $300,000. The number didn’t seem to phase him. “Talk to me after I hit a B,” Elez said with a wink. ⬤

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