[LOCAL] Little Miss Nothing
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(Torrance, CA) The internet has finally confirmed its suspicions about Sara and Bryce Boehly: they’ve returned the child they adopted.
In a video published to Instagram on Wednesday, the parenting Youtubers revealed that Dandelion Boehly, the son they adopted from China two years ago, is no longer living with them. “Although we welcomed Dandelion into our home with open arms, these past few months have shown that we are not compatible as a parent-child unit,” said Sara in a tearful confession. Bryce Boehly, though present in the video, said little. “Dandelion was a great kid, but he wasn’t the kid for us,” he added. The couple cited cultural differences as the reason for Dandelion’s “rehoming,” with Sara emphasizing that “he’s with a family that fully appreciates his Eastern perspective.”
Dandelion Boehly (birth name Zhang Wei) joined Sara and Bryce in 2022, as chronicled in their 13-part vlog “Adopting a Chinese Baby: THE TRUTH.” Although initially presented to the Boehlys as a two-year-old child, pediatricians quickly discovered that Dandelion was actually five years old. The influencers considered returning their son, but “the shipping would have killed us,” Bryce admitted.
The Boehlys are no strangers to controversy. In 2021, the couple received heavy criticism after Bryce insisted fat people were “having their fat sucked by gluttonous demons” during a LEGO-unboxing livestream. Sara was quick to defend her husband's remarks, claiming that “I’d rather kill my kids than let them get fat.” The couple subsequently lost multiple corporate sponsors, as well as their membership to the kingDOM, an exclusive influencer collective.
KING AMERICA
Part 2: Little Miss Nothing
The world is changing.
Two years ago, internet brats Damian Mendoza and Kyle King created a nation of influencers called the kingDOM. They hoped to convert their online influence into tangible change, but after Kyle’s sudden disappearance, Damian was left to rule the kingDOM alone.
While hosting auditions for new personalities in Los Angeles, Damian is attacked by a rabid fan. His mysterious assailant has no name and no identity, but Damian suspects there’s more to her than meets the eye…
Story and Cover by Eduardo Vaca
Damian recognized the man’s lapel pin from Instagram. The contestant, Rusty Whales, dressed the same way all finance bros did. His suit was a little too short around the ankles, a little too stressed at the button, and absolutely choking against his over-inflated biceps. One sneeze and the whole thing might explode.
To Rusty’s credit, he was nervous. Recent headlines had not been kind to him. “Did I bite that dog? Yes. I did that. If you watch the video, it’s clear that Mr. Brown was the aggressor. But I accept that it was my responsibility to de-escalate as a member of the higher species.”
The pin was interesting because Damian made it. Something resembling a bee was engraved into a nugget of faux-gold, and marketed as a rediscovered design from the Roman Empire. The credit went to Spencer Nelson, a rising star from Salt Lake City, but Damian vetoed Spencer's original pitch: a set of “Busy Bee” brooches for retired Mormons. You can make anything you want, Damian promised, as long as it sells to men of a certain insecurity. The first batch was gone in a week.
Fashion designer Joe Tanaka sat to Damian’s right and asked Rusty a question. “Do you think you’ve made the amends necessary to lead a project such as this?”
Rusty didn’t blink, but a muscle in his cheekbone might have flinched. “Oh absolutely. I have a new therapist and a new lawyer, and Pups Unleashed is dedicated to empowering all dogs with the gift of self-defense. What happened to Mr. Brown was a tragedy, and no doggo should endure what happened to him.”
The third judge, fitness icon Delaney Ephron, spoke next. “And will Mr. Brown be involved in Pups Unleashed?”
Rusty shook his head. “We have reached out to Mr. Brown’s people, and his involvement is based on his recovery. We’re hoping the doctors can restore the damaged parts of his ear before filming starts. But we have named the doggy kick-boxing cage in his honor.”
”Well Rusty,” Damian said. “I think you’ve given us a lot to think about. Is there anything else you’d like to share before we make our final decisions?”
Rusty cleared his throat and readjusted his feet. “DOM, Laney, Joe, people have been underestimating me my entire life. I heard it everywhere. That I couldn’t get a job without a high school diploma. That my DUIs would stop me from driving. That biting off Mr. Brown’s ear was a career killer.
”For a long time, I believed them. But then I remembered… biting a dog doesn’t define me. I’m ready to prove to you and the world that there’s more to Rusty Whales than dog violence. If I enter the kingDOM, I’ll make Pups Unleashed the greatest dog gym in the world. Thank you.” Rusty ended his speech with a grateful bark in the air.
The two judges looked for Damain’s reaction, then joined him in whole-hearted applause. Damian rose from his chair slowly, enough for Camera 3 to capture it, and Joe joined him for a 90-second standing ovation. Delaney also clapped but remained in her seat.
“I mean, it’s inspiring, isn’t it?” Damian said as he sat down again. “I wish I had that eye for opportunity.”
Delaney grinned. “Oh, I think you’re doing just fine, DOM.”
”Hey I got lucky. And Kyle had enough luck for both of us. But I think guys like Rusty make their own luck.”
”Thank you DOM,” Rusty blushed.
Joe agreed. “It’s a fabulous idea Rusty, and I’m not just saying that. You’ve got my vote.”
”Definitely,” Damian agreed. “I think you’re perfect for Round Two, but you need all three votes in order to move forward. So what do you think, Laney? Is Rusty three-for-three?”
Delaney leaned back in her chair, examining Rusty with a concentration that verged on hostility. It reminded Damian of the first time he met her. A friend brought him to a party in LA, and mentioned that Laney Ephron was not one for small talk. She was already looking at him when Damian noticed her. He considered approaching, but she carried an intensity about her. She watched him for an hour before eventually walking up, offering some quips about his visit, then leaving. From this, Damian concluded that in a world of planners and pawns, Delaney was a fox in the chicken coop.
“I just have one question, Rusty,” she finally said.
Damian saw Camera 2 push in on the dog biter.
“Are you ready for a second chance?”
Rusty let his head fall in relief. “I am so ready for that.”
Delaney smiled, all whites. “Then you have my vote. You’re going to Round Two Rusty!”
Damian almost heard the inspirational guitar riff that would play in the final edit. Delaney stood and opened her arms for an embrace with Rusty, who failed to withhold the overwhelming emotions swelling in his pink cheeks. Red, white, and blue LEDs flashed around the room— an early idea of Kyle’s.
Rusty held out for a handshake, but Damian was ready with a hug. Damian squeezed hard enough to feel the winner’s body stiffen and kept his hands on Rusty’s arms when they broke. “Congratulations! I love that pin. Where did you get it?”
”I- I’m not sure,” Rusty stuttered in Damian’s hands. “I think it’s from Instagram.”
“I need me one of those!”
Rusty shook his head yes, and Damian released him to Joe.DOM: how is she?
ALICIA: Quiet on couch. Not eating anything. Not asking questions.
DOM: ok, i’ll be in after the interview
“I never see you off your phone,” Delaney whispered.
Her hair brushed his shoulder as she craned for a look at his phone. Damian killed the screen. “You’re one to talk. How many times have you posted about your leggings today?”
”How many times have you checked?”
Her brown eyes dared him to be honest. “Twice,” he said. “But only because I needed the coupon.”
The audition room was being reconfigured to accommodate an interview with CNN. The three judges were supposed to wait in the green room together, but Joe wandered off in search of what he called “an objectively functional restroom.”
“Twice?” she asked. “And you haven’t liked it yet?” Talking to her was a game. They both knew the rules. Lies were good but the truth was better, and the winner took more than they gave.
He pulled out his phone, glancing at a new message as he unlocked the screen.
ALICIA: She’s kind of creepy.
A photo was attached but he didn’t open it. He tapped on Instagram. “There. Liked.”
“Thank you,” she said as she took his phone. When it refused to open from her face, she pressed on six numbers. Unsuccessful.
”What did you put?”
”My birthday. Weird how it didn’t work.”
He chucked. “I’ll have to fix that,” he said while taking the phone back.
”Why did you vote for Rusty today?” Her lips pursed for his thoughts. “Are you a big softie or do you hate dogs as much as I do?”
He thought about his response before shrugging. “I’m just wanna make good TV.”
”You want a pit bull in the kingDOM?”
“I didn’t say he should win.”
”Coulda fooled him.” She pulled out her phone and showed him her story. There were the eyes from his private account, but no like. “You have a good trick. People believe what you say.”
“Oh, I’m always bluffing. When are you telling me yours?”
”My superpower? People can’t look away.”
The photo was odd. The stranger sat on the edge of a green couch, with a straight back and flat, bare feet. Her face was washed and her hair was tamed. Someone had given her a 2XL t-shirt, which she pulled over her knees to make a slope from neck to hem. Her Deathly Hallows tattoo was covered now, but a new one creeped out from her leg. A fanciful “13” was located left of her ankle bone. Details of the woman’s face smudged together, but her eyes were open. She looked like a machine waiting to be activated.
”It is creepy,” Damian said from outside the room.
Alicia agreed as she bit into her white, shiny protein bar. “Yes. Hasn’t said a word to anyone. Not even to question why she’s there.”
Damian zoomed in on the stranger’s hands. The skin was clean, but a thin line of dirt stuck below her fingernails. “I wish we knew her name. I hate going in without a name.”
”Why do you want to talk to her? If this is a video idea I should prep the producers.”
”Not yet,” Damian said. “I want to see what she’s thinking.” He wasn’t sure if he’d witnessed venom or awe in the woman’s attack, but its potency was fascinating.
He sniffed. “What flavor is that?
These aren’t flavored,” Alicia replied as she tugged another chunk. “This one is called Country Pebble.”
”It smells bad,” Damian sighed as he opened the door to the room.
The football field was in perfect view, as was the meticulously placed food on every tabletop. Nothing had been touched. The stranger was so quiet that had Damian not known she was in the room, he might not have noticed her at all.
“Hello!” He cheered as he met her. She gave no reaction but did watch him come closer. Her shoulders were locked and her neck swiveled on a single joint.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting but it's been a busy day, as I’m sure you saw.”
She blinked once.
”Can you tell me your name?”
The woman barely moved her mouth, but she sounded remarkably clear. “I have no name.”
”Okay,” Damian said, surprised by the weight of her voice. “Are you injured?”
”I don’t feel pain,” she expressed motionlessly.
”Are you alone?”
At this, the woman tilted her head. “Yes. But only for now.”
Damian watched the consideration continue in her head. She squinted, then let her mouth open for the briefest moment. “My security can’t find anything about you. As far as they can tell, you shouldn’t exist.”
”But I do,” she said, affirming his contradiction.
”So why did you call me? You yelled for DOM. Here I am.”
Her eyes opened fully. The stranger finally stood, as if to share the epiphany that just occurred. “I have not sought you. I’ve been thrust upon you. You who call yourself king.”
Damian let his title float in the silence. Suddenly unsettled by the woman’s precision, he took a small step back. She mimicked the movement. “You are Damian Mendoza,” she said. “You were given a crown because you said you were kind. You are not kind.”
Her tone remained calm and almost righteous, and Damian couldn’t identify the underlying emotion burrowing under his skin. Without turning, Damian paced backward. She followed. He did not fear her physically; she could not attack him in any meaningful way. The drum in his chest, however, signaled alarm. It beat louder with every note. He anticipated something ugly and stopped when he felt the door behind him. She stopped too.
”You don’t want to change the world. You want to be king.”
Damian squeezed the handle. “Saving the world starts by changing it. Change starts with…” His voice disappeared. Something was wrong. The stranger’s eyes were rising. He looked down to see her feet hovering an inch above the ground. “Sacrifice.”
She unfolded her arms like wings and her body ascended to the ceiling. Her velocity was incomparable to any animal-- only to sensations like vertigo. When her head was mere inches from the roof, she lowered herself with a push and laughed with magnificent joy.
“What are you?” Damian cried. Terror locked his wrist as he marveled at the creature above.
The woman inhaled, the air igniting yellow sparks in her eyes. “You owe a debt. I’m here to collect.” ⬤
CATCH UP THE STORY…
Read the full story before KING AMERCA #3 arrives!
Click on the cover of Issue #1 to start at the beginning.
VOLUNTEERS FOR WONDERCON
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