[LOCAL] Shock Collar

Love should hurt sometimes

[EDITOR’S NOTE: The following story contains adult language. Reader discretion is advised.]

(West Hollywood, CA) It’s common to see a product go viral on TikTok, but few have strangled the internet like “Dr.” Mario de Luca’s LoveLoop. Designed to be worn by romantic partners, the LoveLoop is marketed as the gift of “empathetic accountability” for two people in love. 

We received the Standard Edition for this review. The set comes with two necklaces: both are gold chains, one adorned with a teardrop diamond and the other with a Tiger’s Eye shaped into a rectangle. Neither design is impressive, but what’s interesting is inside the stones.

My wife was, somewhat unenthusiastically, recruited to help me with this review. We both agreed that the necklaces were comfortable, although neither of us forgot we were wearing them. The app also felt straightforward, as syncing our necklaces only required us to take a photo of them. After that initial setup, the app menu only showed two buttons: “pulse” and “shut off.”

The LoveLoop is supposed to be used in response to an insensitivity, so my wife and I played rock-paper-scissors to see who dealt the initial insult. I won.

”Your snoring is insane. Please stop snoring.”

This wasn’t a new friction, but she played along. I watched her gently press on the diamond on her neck and as she did I felt the smallest vibration run through my body. My chest buzzed like a cell phone and even though I braced for it, it still surprised me.

Then it was her turn. “I wish you didn’t bite your nails. I don’t know where your hands have been, and I don’t want to kiss your germy lips.” 

Neither of us hurled revelations at each other, but the allure of the LoveLoop was increasingly evident. I squeezed the stone on my necklace, trying to match her pressure, but she flinched like someone had actually pinched her.

”Hey! You did it way harder.”

I didn’t think so. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much time to consider it, as she demonstrated my aggression with a pinch of her own. One of the features of the LoveLoop is that successive shocks increase in voltage when pressed within 24 hours. I experienced this firsthand, or at least the interpersonal escalation that came with LoveLooped conversations.

Putting away the LoveLoop requires permission from the wearer‘s partner. There was no drama shutting ours off, but I imagined how easily a person can hold their “loved one” hostage. You don’t want to clean the shower? Hope you like your LoveLoop.

I'm not inclined to moralize technology, but the LoveLoop feels predatory. This review doesn’t even touch on what features come with the Soulmates Edition: real-time GPS tracking, support for up to six partners, and cameras for an ever-present eye on your beloved.

Right now you need to join a waitlist if you want to buy the LoveLoop, which I hope is only the result of wannabe influencers needing them for cheap contact. If you need a shock collar to feel empathy for your partner, maybe it’s time to change partners.

RATING: ★★☆☆☆

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SHOCK COLLAR

Story and Cover by Eduardo Vaca

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The last of Karina‘s wrapping paper is all wrinkled now. She pauses the video to see where the fold went wrong. The woman’s hands fold the paper over itself like it always went there, then she presses down and up in a single motion: the perfect crease.

Karina’s gift looks like it landed on top of the paper like a box-shaped spaceship crashed and cratered Planet Paper. She removes the box and flattens the wrap again. This is all that remains of the non-Santa roll and she’s lucky that’s enough to cover the gift. Karina begins again. The paper doesn’t care. It keeps folding back into her old mistakes. 

Later that evening, Karina makes a mistake with her eyeliner. This one doesn’t require a do-over, thankfully.

She loves how she looks in the mirror. She’s a tiny girl and always has been, with a metabolism fast enough to keep her fit in a little black dress with zero prep work. Underneath the fabric is a different story. Karina is soft everywhere, with zero muscle. The only thing between her skin and her bones is an uncomfortable jiggle. Andy doesn’t mind that but she does, and all the girls who go to the gym do and that’s enough for Karina to acknowledge it’s a problem. She doesn’t have to be FAT-fat to feel it.

At five-foot-one, Karina measures 12 whole inches under Andy. She watches him get dressed in his nice shirt, the blue one his mom bought, while she pretends to scroll on her phone. He didn’t shave, but that’s okay. His blonde hair becomes so light near his face that it takes a week for him to get scruffy. Karina readjusts the gel cushions inside her heels.

Andy looks so different from how he used to. Karina and Andy are high school sweethearts. A video of his Promposal went somewhat viral in their town, to the point where people at the supermarket recognized her as the “Prom Horse” girl. While Karina still fits in her prom dress, there’s no way Andy can wear his tux. She appreciates his little belly for turning Andy into a teddy bear on cold nights, but she wonders when he will get skinny again.

They've only been living together for one year. He renewed the lease from his uncle yesterday. Karina is interested in moving somewhere else, but the back house is fine for now. She and Andy have enough distance from the main house that his uncle doesn’t intrude very often. Of course, there hasn’t been much to intrude upon lately. They made it a point to have sex in every room when they moved in, but they haven’t done anything in over a month. Karina worries her new IUD might’ve taken the danger out of sex, but she had no choice. Andy’s pull-out game scared them one too many times, and Karina would rather die than have a baby. Andy says he’s worried about the IUD poking him.

Dinner is nice. They talk about Andy’s day at work, and Karina‘s backup outfits for the evening. Andy eats all his food and most of Karina‘s too. The Cheesecake Factory feels louder than it usually does.

At home, Andy wants Karina to open his gift first. He hands her a medium-sized bag tied closed with a bow, and for a moment she thinks they bought each other the same thing. He really knows her! Better yet, he understands her. Maybe they don’t need their accountability toy after all.

The bow collapses with the smallest pull. Karina digs through the tissue paper without looking, smiling as she grips a familiar-sized box. God, he’s so cute when he’s happy. His eyes are tired but he had a long day at work and he still loves me so much.

The box has French writing on it. It’s not supposed to have that. Karina turns it over but she can’t read anything.

”Open it,” Andy says.

Karina does, and a small tube of lotion slides out. The glass feels so heavy she wonders how much lotion is actually inside.

“It’s nice, right? Like for your face, I guess. The lady said it was the best and stuff.”

Karina tries not to let her eyes tell the truth. “Yeah, it’s very nice. Your turn,” she insists as she slides her gift to him.

There isn’t one breath between Andy seeing the gift and destroying the wrapping paper. He crumbles into a ball. He couldn’t tell you what color it was. The box in front of him is puzzling.

”A LoveLoop? Is that for like…” he asks, pointing to his dick.

Karina stopped rolling her eyes a while ago. “No, it's the relationship necklace.”

Andy groans, slouching onto the couch as he fiddles with the box tabs. “We’re spying on each other now? Shocking each other when things are boring?”

”It's not like that. It’s a nice thing.”

”Or are you hoping for a bird’s eye view of Build-A-Lot? I didn’t know you missed it that much.”

“Stop it. It’s about being a better couple. Being so close that we know everything about each other.”

Andy spreads the necklace across his fingers. “It actually looks pretty nice. I don’t know about the black gem in the middle though. Is that where the camera is?”

”No,” Karina lies. “There is no camera.”

“I thought they came with cameras.”

”Not all of them.” This, technically, is true.

✷

Andy’s pants are around his ankles when she tells him to put it on. “Now?”

“Yes, now,” she asks from the bed. The lingerie only comes out a few times a year, and Karina is keeping it under the blanket until he moves. Let’s call it an incentive.

He kicks his pants off. The new mobility allows him to pace around. “Is this a fetish?”

”No.”

He doesn’t look convinced.

”No!”

”If it’s a sex thing I feel like I should be in on it.”

Karina sits up, making sure to raise the blanket over her chest. “I saw a video about a couple that used it before sex, and they said it made it better. Like it was an emotional cleansing.”

”Oh,” Andy says as he sits on the bed. “It’s like emotional foreplay. I could be into that.”

”Can you please take this seriously?”

”Alright.” Andy reaches for the nightstand and puts the necklace on. “I need my phone?”

”I already downloaded the app for you.”

Andy’s chin turns into his neck as he scrolls down the app. “It says not to do this if you have any metal in your body. Do fillings count?”

”Shh. We start with what we want to fix.”

The couple is still for a moment as each waits for the other to begin. They do this despite knowing who’ll go first.

Karina releases a curt breath to ground herself. “I wish… you were more into this,” she says. She searches Andy’s eyes for anything: bordem, fear, shame.

He giggles instead. He tries to hold it in but it slips out of his mouth and starts tapping on Karina’s throat. They share it, laughing then cackling together until their heads fall on the bed. It’s all so silly. It’s already working.

Karina sits up again, moving the hair from her neck as she does. “Okay, I’m gonna press it.”

”Okay.”

Andy’s shoulders flex in self-defense. His eyes squint. All it takes is a tap for him to jump. “Woah!”

Karina quickly removes her hand. “Does it hurt?”

He smiles nervously as he twists his back. “No, it’s like… remember licking batteries? It’s a smaller version of that.”

”I never did that.”

”No? I wish you had.” Andy’s fingers grip his necklace before Karina registers it. He’s right. The sensation startles but it’s fast and small. It’s already a memory when Karina notices it.

Andy grins the way all boys do when they’re stupid. “It felt something like that.”

She gives him a push but only enough that he’ll come back. He likes it. At least, he likes the moment. Karina’s so quick to forget that happiness feels best with another person. The blanket slides to her hips as she aims for a kiss. Her eyes close and their lips touch, and she sucks until his jaw melts for her. Andy only retreats to ask, without looking at her eyes. “What happens if they shock us in our sleep?”

“Then we’ll wake up.”

✷

Karina doesn’t enjoy lying, but Andy never would’ve gone for the LoveLoop if he knew about the camera. Besides, it's not an issue if she tells him about it today. I can pretend to have tinkered with the settings, Karina thinks. I’ll tell him I accidentally bought the better one. It’s too bad they don’t do refunds!

The video feed is clear, actually. There’s not much to look at from Andy’s neck but seeing him walk through the warehouse isles reminds Karina of when she worked at Build-A-Lot. She was only there for one winter as a seasonal worker.

It’s nice watching Andy clear shelves. The work isn’t hard but he’s good at it. Karina feels a familiar pride watching him. His hand reaches for a jug of drain cleaner, and Karina is taken back to the previous night. She’s inside his grip, absolutely connected to him…

Who is that?

The woman looks like someone Karina knows, but she can’t place who. She’s tall: the fisheye on Andy’s LoveLoop warps everything except her chest. The teeth in her toothy smile look like they’re being pushed off-screen. She takes the slightest step back and Karina sees the full picture. She’s thin but everything is proportioned perfectly, from the legs carrying her denim shorts to the blonde hair that flows like she just came from the beach. She’s so pretty it’s insulting.

Karina wonders why Andy is still talking to her. The frame stops just above her head. The warehouse fans spinning on the ceiling are barely visible. The girl gives him a really big smile before Andy steps around her. He’s leading her somewhere.

Who is this bitch? Karina props her phone against an empty glass. She opens Instagram on her laptop and scrolls through her saved posts. She saw her somewhere, somewhere… 

Karina gasps. This girl, this woman, had the audacity to post a whole video about maintaining boundaries in your relationship. Excuse me?

Andy points to a 20-pound bag of cat food. “Alexandra,” if her profile is to be believed, says something in response. 

Karina can’t believe it. Andy is going to pick up the bag for her and put it in her cart. She’s never felt this sick in her life, not even when Andy let her read the texts he sent to his middle-school girlfriend. Her hand is on her necklace. There are no thoughts, only hate. He crouches down for the bag. The LoveLoop shocks him, and he drops it. The bag hits the carts before landing on the floor, tearing just enough for a couple-hundred pallets to spill on the floor.

She looks at her fingers. The nails squeezing her LoveLoop are almost purple. Karina releases and watches Andy sweep up the mess. “Alexandra” is gone. She watches Andy throw away the food. His manager talks to him. He doesn’t give Karina anything to react to until he’s outside, taking his break under the sticky summer sun.

Her phone buzzes with his message.

✷

”You’re not answering my texts anymore?”

Karina doesn’t look up when Andy returns home. Her eyes are locked in on TikTok. “I didn’t get them.”

”You’re literally on your phone.”

Karina, laying on her belly across the entire couch, makes half an attempt to look back at Andy. It half works, except he can’t see her full scowl. She repositions, sitting up so he can see it all.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Andy asks. “You lied about sticking a camera on me!”

”I didn’t do it on purpose! I bought the wrong one. But clearly it was meant to be.”

Andy dumps his jacket on the ground and breaks off his shoes. “You are such a brat,” he says, towering over the couch. “I was helping a customer.”

Karina pushes her LoveLoop. Andy wriggles. 

“Hey, that one was harder!”

Andy smacks his necklace with an open home, then remembers that you have to pinch it. Karina shakes.

“I didn’t even do anything wrong!” She cries, raising her hand to her neck.

”You’re a jealous baby who has nothing better to do than find problems where there aren’t any. That’s my complaint!” Andy zaps her again.

It does hurt more the second time. The pain lingers, nodding muscles and Karina’s neck. “Ow,” she winces. “At least I’m not fantasizing about people at work!”

Andy’s shoulders convulse, but he loses the pain with the furious head whip. “At least I go to work. Eating snacks and watching TikTok isn’t a full-time job.”

“You’re the one with the muffin top!” Karina is pulling on her LoveLoop as she presses it. “At least I’m not working the same job I had in high school.” Again. “At least I actually like being with you.” Again. “If you cared about this relationship you would try harder for me.” Again. “Do you even like me?”

Andy’s lips tremble. His neck is red and large, and his swollen eyelids struggle to cover his eyeballs. He can hardly whisper it. “Yes.”

His legs stop shivering and buckle under the weight of his body. One thigh spasms over the other until everything stops.

”Andy?”

Everything’s stopped.

Karina sees Andy’s chest moving. It deflates, reflates. She slides off the couch and crawls towards him. The tile floor hurts her knees. She puts her fingers under his nose and feels air.

She can’t pick him up. He’s so calm when he’s sleeping. Karina pushes on one of his shoulders until his back is flat, then she straightens his legs. She arranges his arms to stretch out because she saw a video that said the “starfish” position was best for sleep.

Karina considers turning the lights off until she sees a few hairs from his happy trail peeking out. She pulls his shirt down, then puts her nose to his chest and smells. Her hand travels up his chest as she breathes him in, stopping at the links of his LoveLoop.

Maybe if I push it enough times I’ll pass out too, she hopes.

It doesn’t work.

✷

The woman at the party looks so familiar. Her name is Liv and her husband is Bill, and they are so friendly that they offer to sit at the same table as Karina and Andy. Both Andy and Bill know the host. Andy met him when he worked at Build-A-Lot, and Bill was his supervisor before their mutual friend moved up in the world.

Sunshine bathes the garden in light. Andy’s friend has done well for himself. Liv admits that she isn’t very close to the guy, but a house like this makes him a good friend to keep around. Bill insists that a bigger house is coming, but the annual trips to Europe might have to stop. Liv isn’t sure about that. Bill kisses her cheek, and she blushes.

Karina watches the boys as they leave for fresh drinks. Liv asks how long they’ve been dating. Since high school, Karina says. 

High school sweethearts! That’s so romantic.

Liv looks like the person Karina wants to be when she grows up. Her sundress is modest but she looks genuinely gorgeous in it, and the jewelry on her fingers and ears catch the sun perfectly. They glow. 

Karina looks again at Andy and Bill. Across the lawn, someone new speaks to them. Someone young, sporty, and nodding enthusiastically to whatever Bill says. Andy hands her one of the beers he was holding.

Karina resists the pool from her neck. Bill does most of the talking… but Andy isn’t moving. Suddenly, Bill’s back straightens. He says a final word to the girl before he and Andy turn the other way. The boys return to the table and sit. Both, almost simultaneously, put their arms around their ladies.

Bill jumps into a story about a snake he found in a Florida toilet. Karina listens, but the words fade away as she watches Liv. Liv smiles at the story and laughs when she’s supposed to and plays with the diamond that hangs from her necklace. She sees Karina staring. She smiles, first with only her lips before showing teeth. Now Karina is allowed to smile, and they share a secret little laugh. ⬤

Read more short fiction by clicking here, and find excerpts from select Daily Egg zines here.

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