[ZINE] Huevo Nuevo #4

Masters of the Yolkult have arrived

Sep 06, 2024

Well folks, it’s about time. After numerous traffic jams, earthquakes, and custody battles, The Daily Egg’s flagship zine returns with Huevo Nuevo Issue #4. It’s been too long since our last official issue (despite a few non-numbered impostors since then), but this edition is worth the wait. Huevo Nuevo #4 contains dangerously high levels of quality content, and you will be required to sign a waiver before purchasing it. I’d also recommend wearing gloves while reading it, but don’t quote me.

Below is a taste, just a morsel of what’s coming. Regular contributor BF Dixon writes about who makes the WORST tippers at restaurants, and I’m proud to say I checked a few of those boxes myself.*

Huevo Nuevo #4 debuts at OC Zine Fest, and you can find more information about it at the bottom of this email. We’ll see you there.

Ed Vaca
head scrambler at the egg

*I hate people

THE WORST TIPPER$

ACCORDING TO SERVERS

report by BF Dixon

You finish your meal and pay your bill. You get a look from your server that glares “You’re such a prick.” Are you? According to restaurant servers, if you’re not leaving 20-25 percent tips for your meals, you’re among the worst tippers. These are the worst types:

THE DASHER

A real cheapskate. Believes tips are wasted money. Has just enough shame to be conflicted with his desire to leave no tip at all but is embarrassed of what others might think of his cheapness. Begrudgingly tips 5 percent, then makes his getaway out of the restaurant while the server is occupied elsewhere, all the while looking at a nonexistent spot on his shoe while wiping a nonexistent booger off his nose. Usually male, aged 20s to 30s. Strangely enough, often a ginger.

THE COMPLIMENTER

Also known as a Stiff. Pays in compliments. Will often leave a lovely note on the receipt expressing much gratitude, probably punctuated with a happy face. “Thank yous” abound... cash tips not so much. Almost always older, mature. Clueless.

THE HOOK-ME-UPPER

A mooch. Views tipping as an opportunity for free food. Literally asks, “Hey can you hook me up with an extra order of wings?” when it’s time to settle the check. Timing is key. He makes his request before leaving a tip, and hedging against his bet will attempt to obscure a measly 15 percent or less. If he gets an fourth rib, or a couple of extra dinner rolls, he sees himself as the charmer who scored. If he doesn’t get the hook up, he flashes a giant grin that says, “We’ll get it next time, and anyways look at me, I still gave your ass a decent tip.” Usually male, aged 20 to 50. Probably spent time in prison…